Tuesday, April 24, 2007'♥

today is the big day where it determines our hard work for months.
i woke up at around 4.30am. and started preparing. i reached school about 5.40am. wow the whole school is damn dark man. my make-up was done by myself except the eye shadow and eye liner. chinese dance plus liangyu came to help us to do our makeup. REALLY A BIG THANK YOU TO YOU ALL! we had run through twice before we go to UCC. guess what? i had to re do my make up. 2nd run through, i was perspiring like hell man. then the sweat went into my eyes twice.

on the bus. everyone was have motion car sickness. i was one of them! but i did not vomit out. the bus driver driving skills is so damn lousy. the bus ride was so bumpy yet squeeze. we reached there like 8.55am? just nice in time to report.

i was so damn cold at there. i did not really had good warm up for myself. my parents came to watch my performance! so happy. but yet a bit of terrified. when it was 9.15am we went in to the stage to prepare. it was so damn scary. we walked passed one of the dressing room and saw the judges. ahhhhhhhh i want to scream! everything was prepared. yet i am still nervous. pearl keep encouraging me and tell me not to be too nervous. just get myself into the music. i did. i put my whole hearted to dance it out. but technically i dun find myself doing the best. it was not my limit. there were worries going through my mind. trying to relax myself by breathing in and out. theres 2 parts i did not got my balance. one part was the part where i want to carry my leg up to 180 degree. the other part was standing on one leg preparing to kick it. kinda lost my balance. another regret for me was that my rubber slip through when i had went in!

the dance was pretty fast to me at that point of time. i almost cried but i was able to held back my tears. and in my mind i was like saying, i could really have done better. much more better than this time. i hate it when i did not do my best. i hate myself for not going to the limit. i hate myself why am i so terrified. i still hate myself why did my props just slip off. i hate myself for the marks that is gonna be minus. i hate myself being a burden to the team. i hate myself. i let down to all those had encouraged me to do my best. i really want a second chance.

after our dance, we watch other schools. we watched until gan eng secondary we had to returned to school. i still really have regrets. even though i am supposely not to have. i hate school. when i returned. there was tons of homework waiting for me. i am so damn tired. yet the damn teachers still wants me to do homework. i just hate it. i tired. could not you let me rest? another thing. i got back the mathematics paper. OMG i cant believe it. i did not really went to study it. yet i manage to get 46/50 i could not really believe it!!!!! and also yesterday post i did not added the part where science practical lesson, we were cultivating bacteria! wow that was fun. my partner was michelle, and we was not allowed to talk while handling the bacteria. LOLS. if not the results will be damn weird.

for now i only hope for the best. at least a silver for me is happy. if a GOLD is like i will go crazy. but if we got silver i guess we will be killed.

another good news, OUR SCHOOL CHOIR WON GOLD!!!!! from bronze to gold! GREAT JOB mandy, jessica and chian yee!

happy birthday qian yong!!

blogged @ 8:59 PM