friday.
okay, yesterday. PE was such a bad day.
standing broad jump - i got 185cm. i aimed for like 190? lols next time perharps at least i got 5 points for that.
2.4km run. damit. my legs are still aching. thanks all for cheering at there!!! at least i got better timing compared to last year. maybe is again due to dance training. hahas.
after school - dance meeting. we had lolipops! my favourite coke! mentos, oreo walfers given by mrs debbie loh. told us about general things that the judges look out for. i did not went to piano class. due to it was raining damn heavily+ is already 2.30pm and class starts at 2.45pm. and guess what? i thought i had brought my purple umbrella, and suddenly remeber i forgotten to place it back into my bag due to the previous day i had took it out. so i had to trouble modern teacher to give me a lift. LOLS.
reached home about 3pm + i went to sleep like a PIG. lols and woke up like 7.30pm?! OMG. cant believe that.
saturday.
early in the morning i woke up at 8.30pm, preparing to go for my replacement of piano class due to yesterday was damn to lazy.
next came back from class like 10am+ prepared to go ballet class. i feel so tired....
in the end i am late for my ballet class. cause i fall back to sleep plus i forgotten is 11.45am not 12pm anymore.
it was a damn big torture. my legs were there aching. yet still had to do those BIG JUMPS. and DMAN STRETCHING... ARGH HELP!!!! i even have problems walking the staircase...
later at 2.30pm, i am going to study with xue fang and mandy... yays. lols time to mug at my old spidery books. and writing notes... so thats about it. so ya bye!

morning, chinese lesson. x square mark compo really damn fast man. i am kind of embarrassed during class. is like how could she read out my compo. i mean like, some parts are true while some is i just added in for fun. and now what? asking me to type out the compo for her, and is going to be post at newspaper. ehew. i blindly wrote that compo. except for the ending.

i was like asking other school, like pei hwa and deyi for their SYF results. and they told me it was 3pm. then i was thinking great we have to wait till 3pm. but then we recieved it during recess time. i was at computer lab, which we were having IT lesson. i recieved a confirmation from the seniors that we really gotten a silver... so i broke down into tears. well crying is very infectious. then sze rui also started crying. well mandy and michelle kept saying that it wasn't my fault. cause i think that it really is my fault. during IT lesson, we went to find sec 3s. all were crying. so i started crying the 3rd time, after getting hold of myself. is like i cried again into isabella's embraced. 5th time was after school.

firstly, i want to say is although it is not the best shot we gave. but we put in effort to achieve it.
secondly, i want to thank the seniors being so caring, even though they are upset too. cause they do not have another chance to participate with us anymore.
thirdly, i want to say that the next SYF, we promised and try to get AT LEAST A GOLD. because you all had really motivated us.
fourth, there is like 123 schools joined international dance, and 12 schools got GOLD and 7 schools got GWH. so it is a big achievement to get a silver. so great job.

lets see. we still do not really have the time to celebrate yet. due to we are going genting + ballet under the stars!! so work hard! just dun make me cry again. i will not shed another tear.

white sharp shoe - bought at metro $12














White shoe same brand as the sharp one - metro - $23














DMK slipper - $16.90 discounted $14.90 due to my mum's credit card got smart points














the yummy food!!! hahas done by me and wanling!

next today. nothing really much happened at school. but is the first time that there is no dance practices on wednesday!

POOR JIAMIN, she really twisted her ankle as she had missed a step. she her walking so slow really pathetic. and just lucky that SYF is over!

SYF update.
BAND - SILVER
CHOIR - GOLD
CHINESE DANCE - GOLD WITH HONOURS
CHINESE ORCHESTRA - SILVER
ELDDS - SILVER
STRING ORCHESTRA - GOLD
left we us, which the results is gonna released tomorrow. and my handphone is gonna be flooded with other schools results. nahs just kidding.
well i hope at least a gold or a silver. please?

today, i overslept! and totally forgotten that i have piano class at 6pm. and i woke up around 6.15pm!!! then my teacher rang me up. and nicely help me to change until tomorrow 5.15pm. no more overslept le!!! argh!!!

well i guess i have to end here. thanks xuefang, mandy, jiamin, zhiyu for asking me to cheer up and not to have any regrets.

i guess i will be crying like mad hell if i got the results!

and also, happy birthday to WINNIE TAY. winnie the pooh - my senior hahahs

today is the big day where it determines our hard work for months.
i woke up at around 4.30am. and started preparing. i reached school about 5.40am. wow the whole school is damn dark man. my make-up was done by myself except the eye shadow and eye liner. chinese dance plus liangyu came to help us to do our makeup. REALLY A BIG THANK YOU TO YOU ALL! we had run through twice before we go to UCC. guess what? i had to re do my make up. 2nd run through, i was perspiring like hell man. then the sweat went into my eyes twice.

on the bus. everyone was have motion car sickness. i was one of them! but i did not vomit out. the bus driver driving skills is so damn lousy. the bus ride was so bumpy yet squeeze. we reached there like 8.55am? just nice in time to report.

i was so damn cold at there. i did not really had good warm up for myself. my parents came to watch my performance! so happy. but yet a bit of terrified. when it was 9.15am we went in to the stage to prepare. it was so damn scary. we walked passed one of the dressing room and saw the judges. ahhhhhhhh i want to scream! everything was prepared. yet i am still nervous. pearl keep encouraging me and tell me not to be too nervous. just get myself into the music. i did. i put my whole hearted to dance it out. but technically i dun find myself doing the best. it was not my limit. there were worries going through my mind. trying to relax myself by breathing in and out. theres 2 parts i did not got my balance. one part was the part where i want to carry my leg up to 180 degree. the other part was standing on one leg preparing to kick it. kinda lost my balance. another regret for me was that my rubber slip through when i had went in!

the dance was pretty fast to me at that point of time. i almost cried but i was able to held back my tears. and in my mind i was like saying, i could really have done better. much more better than this time. i hate it when i did not do my best. i hate myself for not going to the limit. i hate myself why am i so terrified. i still hate myself why did my props just slip off. i hate myself for the marks that is gonna be minus. i hate myself being a burden to the team. i hate myself. i let down to all those had encouraged me to do my best. i really want a second chance.

after our dance, we watch other schools. we watched until gan eng secondary we had to returned to school. i still really have regrets. even though i am supposely not to have. i hate school. when i returned. there was tons of homework waiting for me. i am so damn tired. yet the damn teachers still wants me to do homework. i just hate it. i tired. could not you let me rest? another thing. i got back the mathematics paper. OMG i cant believe it. i did not really went to study it. yet i manage to get 46/50 i could not really believe it!!!!! and also yesterday post i did not added the part where science practical lesson, we were cultivating bacteria! wow that was fun. my partner was michelle, and we was not allowed to talk while handling the bacteria. LOLS. if not the results will be damn weird.

for now i only hope for the best. at least a silver for me is happy. if a GOLD is like i will go crazy. but if we got silver i guess we will be killed.

another good news, OUR SCHOOL CHOIR WON GOLD!!!!! from bronze to gold! GREAT JOB mandy, jessica and chian yee!

happy birthday qian yong!!

currently eating: dinner (homemade nasi lemak)
currently drinking: HL chocolate milk!!!
currently doing: blogging + Chit Chatting at MSN

firstly, this is the first time i threw my temper in my class. i was damn furious, when i was trying to do my homework, and yet JR with other guys were playing x-square old pencil case. and you know what? IT HITTED RIGHT ON MY HEAD! SO I SCREAMED LIKE A MAD WOMAN, and it wasn't still 50% of my real angry voice. JUST IMAGINE! well i guessed my classmates were like damn shocked by my actions. including mandy who was sitting right beside me.

secondly, x-square is not going to become our form teacher! but i wonder, who will be our form teacher?

thirdly, dance, genting trip is confirmed! hahas we gonna have CCA points!! due to it is a international competition! but $200 for edsave and $200 from my parents burned hole pocket.

fourth, today, teacher said that she will let us off at 4pm. guess what? 6.35pm. well i am so damn tired. and i told my parents not to fetch me. but i still troubled them. cause i still need to go back home and rushed for my theory lesson.

fifth, i bought 3 new pairs of shoes yesterday at compass point. i will upload when i am free! so be patient!

great the time now for me is 9pm. and i need to wake up at 5am, go to school at 5.25am which is like ermm, 8hrs of sleeping? not enough!!!! i hate to be the first performance..... great after eating dinner i am going to excersie to burn some fats and not be too bloated while sleeping.!!
ARGH!!!
and tomorrow is qian yong BIRTHDAY! HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY!!! and good luck to choir too!!!!

today is Saturday. yet my day is damn busy and tired.

firstly, i went to ballet lesson. Miss Gina was torturing us. but this time round, my legs are still aching but not as much as last Saturday. she is a good ballet teacher. which actually i kinda like her teaching and correcting my steps until more perfect.

secondly, i heard from wanling and michel from ballet that pei hwa is so damn lucky to have the UCC stage at this time. but is a torture to them. 4pm to 9pm at there practicing? well i guess they are also tired.

thirdly, i went to school for the rehearsal. qianyong, shiwen senior + liangyu came back to school to see our dance and did gave some comments. well they are pretty nice of them to come back and guide us. more pairs of eyes to spot each mistake better than 2 pairs of teachers' eyes. and now i am on the road to change my steps and do better than before!

fourth, actually i had piano class at 6pm to 7pm. but my teacher changed it to tomorrow at 12pm. woah i need that man. i am damn tired that i barely could really relax. i had wish i could rest on my bed and sleep like a pig. but now it is fulfilled, after blogging i am going to sleep!

fifth, okay my last post, i guess quite a number of people saw it. i am going to say to jiamin first or other dance members who had look at the last post. i just had say out what my inner heart had been hidden under that i did not want to show at all. well but the unconfident of me does not mean that you have no confidence of yourself. i believed that you all had done your very best. so please do not have any regrets and do not be affected by my post. i just need some ways to let off my emotions inside me. well i got confidence back by the teamwork shown by everyone. even how tired i am, i am not going to give up anymore. for now, i dun really care what results we are going to get, but giving out my very best on the stage. and i will have no more regrets.

xuefang, thanks for talking and cheering me yesterday night for 5 hours, 9pm until 1am. now i really have more confidence myself but not like yesterday on the brim of depression which you have never see me in that kind of unconfident me. you are so nice!

zhiyu, mandy you two have been my supporters!! i really want to say a BIG thanks to you guys. you guys rocks. thanks for understanding me and always by my side at school. mandy, work hard for your choir.

last but not least to all my school dance team. thanks for letting me to see you guys are being so united. and dancify - dance committee, putting the effort of giving us the small slip to encourage us! well i am not that kind of person could really say those persuasive or encouraging words, but what i can say is that we have all done our best on stage, so have no regrets, last dance for us, dun be too concern about the results and casuing everyone so stressed up. JUST PUT IN YOUR BEST! and that's it! POOF! and we are out of the stage and the torturing practices.

today went to bishan stadium for the damn SHHK sports meet. nothing much to do. did my homework there. except art and history. BORING!~ and i am glad that next year we are not GOING THERE ANYMORE!!! i saw mr patrick low. one of the nsps teacher who now is in chongfu primary. and i saw him running the teachers' race. LOLS.

STRING ORCHESTRA GOT GOLD!!! CONGRATS!

another stress. chinese dance got GWH. SO got GOLD. Band and CO got SILVER. great what next? people including teachers chinese dancers and more of my classmates said that we must get GOLD or GWH. great. do you know is damn so hard to get it. it is just that i really won't achieve it. i know what you all gonna say after reading my blog post. dun keep looking at the negative side. well, i am gonna tell you, i want to look at the negative side of me, the unconfident of me while dancing.

i just had a emptiness feeling in my heart now. is like i have no confidence of doing my best. is just like, i may go collasped down on the ground anytime. while maybe even now. i am on the brim of mental breaking or depression. it might be offensive to people but i still want to say. i know alot people is encouraging us saying that we improved. indeed we improved. but not to the standard we want to score a GOLD or GWH. while sometimes, their words are always the same.. so is predictable. and i knew what would modern teacher say. not good at. not enough energy. what could i really do? i really feel like giving up as the days are nearing. i had never ever got this kind of feeling rushing through me. even P5 the dance SYF. i am confident enough to stand on the stage. but now i can tell you. this is my first time of being unconfident enough on my dance skills or performance. i am damn depressed by it. So please, if i at school had offended anyone please don't take it seriously i dun really mean too.

Currently mood: average. nothing much.
currently drinking: chocolate HL milk (my favourite!)
currently doing: blogging

JUST CHANGE BLOGSKIN.! please tell me is this nicer than the previous one?

well today was pretty good. finish IT project + home econs practical was over! I AM SO DAMN HAPPY!!@!@!@!

home econs, i was having a difficult time trying to fry the wantons into a basket shape while testing (2 to 3 times) but it always failed. well, today i passed! OMG i cannot believe it! and when i went to school, i was carrying like a big damn cooler bag containing the vegetables, ice cubes with the fruits and plate, glass cup... anyway it was a big success!! i will post the pictures next week i guess cause i am too lazy to upload the pictures from the camera to the computer.

dance, i am still very worried. in some ways that i could not really explain. even qianyong says we lacked that kind of thing in our dance. that's exactly what i feel too, but i just could not really see whats lacking. i listed out the possibility:
1. lack of teamwork
2. lack of practicing
3. lack of morale
4. lack of technique/ movements
5. lack of energy
6. lack of facial expression
7. lack of the enjoyment of dancing this piece.
well i don't know. and you know why i am frustrated? if we do not get gold or gold with honours, not only seniors will be sad, everyone will and not only that theres more reasons.. and that why i am fretting now.

next i want to thank qianyong and xuefang, sometimes mandy, zhiyu and jiamin who lends me their ears when i am helpless. qianyong gives good advice, xuefang cheering me up. mandy, zhiyu encouraging me. jiamin, who always ask me not to think to much. really i want to say a big thank you. and not to forget my partner cassandra, who always not angry with me when i threw temper on her.

tomorrow theres SHHK sports meet. i guess i will bring homework there. i do not want to waste my time. got to complete my homework. art, history, geography, english, mathematics and if possible revise.

one more great news, i am going genting with the choir. i hoped more people will go. please man. i want to go!!!

firstly, CONGRATULATIONS to our school chinese dance!!! they won GOLD WITH HONOURS!!!
secondly, as i promised the reflection picture.








thirdly, dance, say really i do not know what excatly facial expression should i show at the stage. if i dun smile, people says i am too tense. if i smile, teacher say i a bit ke siao, does not suit the dance. great what should i really do??? teacher explained as smile but not a lot not until a tense look is shown. what kind of expression is that? is like you want to smile, smile together with your teeth then if not give a stern look. say really if you want me to smile at that kind of music, I REALLY CANNOT!!! it is impossible.
fourth, mrs peng and mr koh came in to watch. not much of encouragement. anyway what they say are true. our teamwork is not that good. and i do not really have much faith in it. thats what i can say. and we are going GENTING with choir!!! hohos maybe only. argh hope my mum allows.
fifth, tomorrow i am having home econs practical. damn it i am still not prepared yet. darn it. later i am going down to buy the materials + i still need to do the planning.
sixth, SHHK sports meet on friday. great another wastage day of my life. i want to study
seventh, saturday. dance practices + ballet practices with miss gina. do i have to split myself up?i hate when this happen. i cannot skip ballet, cause my ballet exam is around the corner. i hate it and SYF also around the corner. what should i do?

today i had ballet. miss Shanti did not came. so miss Gina took over. miss Gina lost her voice. she said we are lucky that she lost her voice then if not our ears would be deaf.
is more on body position. after what miss miss Gina is damn so strict on the point of footwork. and now my foot still aches man. miss Shanti concentrate more on body than foot. after Miss Gina teaches, i suddenly had that feeling or even find that, i am not up to standard. just suddenly felt that, i have room for MORE improvement. the lesson starts with stretching. i was lucky that i am consider as average flexible? so i still can survive from it. next bar works. everyone was scolded almost every single exercise. and next week it is still Miss Gina. hahas another torture to others. for me is torture yet a good experience, or even wants Miss Gina to teach!

After ballet class, i accompained michel to hougang mall to eat Macdonal. then after that we headed home and craps a lot with each others. after reaching home, first thing i had done was to sleep. i woke up about 4.30pm by a call from my mum. she asked me whether i want to go with them to east coast restaurant to eat together with my dad's friend from Italy France. well i was still half asleep so i answered aiya anything larhs. then went back to sleep. then 2nd call from my dad 5pm, he asked me whether i want to go. and i said no. then around 6.15pm my parents came back, then my mum commanded me to go. so i did. well the food was average. and i guessed i had to do more excersie. and tomorrow wanling is coming my house for the damn home econs project. then i also have piano class. great i am getting more scoldings for not practicing it.

briefly talk about yesterday happenings at school.
when i stepped into the classroom. it was in a pitch dark. heard from my friends, they say our whole block which is 4I, 4H, 3I, 3H, 2I, 2H, 1A, 1B got affected. everyone was damn happy man. cause we all thought that class will be canceled!!! WOOHOOO!!!~~~ but then,.... there was class going on. the classroom was damn humid. i barely could see what i am going writing. x square was at there nagging at us. great i hate. so hot yet lots of nagging. around 8.25am, the electricity regained. the cause to the shortage of electricity might be due to the previous day, the lightning shocked until the rooftop electricity, something like that. and make me some furious was the sec ones. i was queuing up for the longest queue local noddle stall. great in front there was a sec one girl. then after like 5mins. another 2 sec ones girls cut the queue because the girl in front of me was their friend. another 5mins. 3 sec ones girls cut the queue. there was a total of 6 girls in front of me. i was so damn pissed. i recognised 1 of the girl is in miss pey class 1C i think the name is farren. others were from 1D which what i heard from jessica.

today. what day it is? 13 + Friday = black Friday (unlucky)
okay, my day started quite good and bad. i cannot find my watch in the morning. you know how uneasy i felt without my watch? which i kept practically looking at my wrist without knowing the time. first 2 periods was PE, we got to do sit and reach, inclined pull-ups and also standing broad jump. i did pretty well in my sit and reach. cause if i had not forgotten, when i was in primary school, my highest was like 36cm. but now 50cm!!! i broke my record. i guessed it is because of dance. we need to train of flexibility so soon or later i was able to go until there, which now i could almost touch my knee!!! inclined pull-ups, all the girls were kind of funny. all do until 18 then say okay okay can stop le. LOLS cause 17 can already get 5points. i got 19, and with good position. last year i did not really have a good position as i go up like a snake body but manage to get 20?! i guess it owes to dance again. hahas, at home, i do lots of hand stand, maybe that helps me??
next mathematics. do exercises again.
recess!! nothing much. but again, mandy, zhiyu and i went to queue that stall. no people were cutting the queue. but then when it was my turn to order. a sec 2A guy cut into my queue. WOAH!! he just ordered the food and i was about to say. and the auntie still served him the food! then mr neo came, i thought he was going to scold him by seeing him cutting the queue, but what? just caught his uniform not tuck in.
stadium at 2pm. guessed what i overslept. woke up like 1.55pm. then i was like english next. miss lie did not came. while the class was so damn nosiy. and i was trying to complete the mathematics equation. bell rang 10.55am, everyone just stand up and greeted ZAIJIAN which is goodbye. then all ran off like in the mist of the air. well the IT project was canceled. so went back home early. i slept as i was damn tired and needed to report to hougangOMG! i ran as fast as i could without putting some money into my wallet. just grabbed my wallet and handphone and ran to 82 bus stop. while waiting for the bus. i saw leroy and alvin. and asked leroy why were you late also? then both replied we played too much minesweeper and forgotten the time. LOLS> played too much. then zhiyu and alvin suggested take a cab larhs. i was like my wallet is practically left with only $1.35. luckily alvin did not hail a cab anyways all cab were too busy and did not want to do our buisness. LOLS. 82 bus finally came. and the bus driver drove damn fast man. the god is helping me man. i reached the stadium about 2.15? lols. okay we waited at there liked mad hell from 2.30 until 3.30++ nearing 4pm i guessed. what i heard was it was delayed due to they saw lightning. anyways the track field was like so damn wet. then mandy, zhiyu, jiamin and me went to hougang mall to eat long john silver.. i borrowed money from them. great i owe them money. then after that we went to the toilet. and had snapshots in the toilet. (i will post it after i upload it into the computer from my handphone when i am free). anyway my maid found my watch for me. it was in the washing machine together with my dirty clothings. and good news it is not damaged!

great i finally have time to blog. hahas. firstly i want to thanks those that taken the test. at least i know that how much you know me well.

theres like thousand things to say. but i am going to summarised these 1week and 1 day.
TIRED. TALK TO MY HAND. LET ME HAVE PEACE!
apparently that i am facing metal breakdown. today wasnt a good day for dance, and applies to the stupid damn oral.
firstly, during class, leroy was like keep pestering me. i NEED TO CONCENTRATE!! so SHOO!! LET ME HAVE PEACE!!! Not meant to be an offence
secondly, oral. i was so damn nervous. and another thing, mr hareesh(the tester) asked until so many questions. i practically forgotten what my thoughts were. GREAT! i m so dead. anyways whats over is over.
thirdly, BAND got SILVER. great job.
fourth, dance. i am losing the control of dance movements. is like, while i am dancing, espacially the 2nd half, i wanted to collapsed. FOR REAL! and got scoldings from modern dance teacher as our steps weren't that perfect.
fifth, i am losing hope of GOLD. in some ways(which i do not know also). what i had asked the ballet teacher, she said we really had improved a lot. we really could at least get silver. but it really depends on the performance at the actual stage, actual day, which is left with 13days. we do not want to break the record of 2 GOLDS of the past few years. so sometimes is like how much effort we put in. we could say it easily but at that performance point, anything could happen under the sun. is like you must be aware of it.
guess what? after SYF, i still cannot concentrate on the revision. i will still have ballet exams going on. great i hate it. why does ballet exam crash together with the school exam.
anyways there a sport meet on friday! woah! we are going home at 10.55am hahas but in the end we need to report at hougang stadium at 2.20pm. BLUE HOUSE WILL WIN!!! ROAR!! words of encouragement commonly used: jiayous.

i am really gone up to my limit. test happening this week and next week and more... when it is going end? pissed off, totally. i wish to cut my mum's nagging, and lots more of lagging. i always had hoped there was no dance on one Saturday that i could wake up and enjoy myself. or even complete my unfinished homework. well i wanted to join ndp but due to my results rating are dropping. so i guess i had to strike it off from it.
syf is taking far too much time, please, i need teachers to be much more understanding, let me hand in homework later. there's like not much time for me to do anything. tomorrow still history and English test. great not study yet. and also haven't completed my art drawing of boots. dreads. KILL ME!!!
i don't like trainee teachers lesson.. apparently they all are crapping nonsensical things into our ears. i really do want to sleep in class. say really, who really loves study? definitely not me.

for yesterday, went to ballet, and teacher was telling us about the summer school thing. well this thing had really crashed together with our school china trip. so now i am in a dilemma. whether which should i go, both are really good. yet i cannot decide. for dance camp, it is teach by the professionals. and there is a prize for those who perform really well to have a chance to go sydney to watch performance or dancing it. while china trip, got a chance to hang out with friends and have fun. and there will have a 3 and a half day school at suzhou foregin language school. so which one should i choose?today, i went out with my cousin to watch Mr bean's holiday. i could tell you it is a great show, so you guys must really go and watch it.
next my cousin bought me a jigshaw puzzle + the frame. then had dinner together with my family outside due to my maid was having an off day. the puzzle cost like 49.90 and the frame was like 33. that cost a bomb! i really loved her! and by the way, this includes hollowgram of the fireworks and also glows in the dark! i guess i will fixed it maybe on this coming friday which is a public holiday! LOLS. or even hanging out with friends! i am free! or maybe even go ice skate?

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